Short Temper.

I wonder about the person who is known as a short tempered one. Is that a consious controllable action or otherwise?
I dont think i am short tempered. In fact so far in my life(around 30 years) there is only once where i remember i really lost it. But nothin happened then tho'. On the other hand i am also not mild mannered. I cant take shit. Although i am not impulsive i make sure that I give it back to the person directly to the face, otherwise this would be a nagging thought at the back of my mind.
Something of this sort happened to me today. I wasn't impulsive enough to react on the spot, but once the whole thing was over, i realized that i was snubbed. I regretted i didn't realize this when the whole thing was unfolding. Anyways true to me i have to snub back at that person(The nagging thought).
Will post it here, when that happens.

Depressed

I am kind of depressed. Dont know why. I went to the gym and returned in 30 minutes, came home and binged. These are the things i generally do(dont do) when i am depressed. But anyways i think getting depressed is part of life. My self analysis -

Am i depressed because-

1) I am home sick. NO.
2) I am missing my spouse. AM NOT SURE.
3) Didn't do my taxes. YES.
4) No-one new to interact with at work. MAY BE.
5) Getting old. MAY BE.
6) Lack of sex. DEFINITELY.
7) Winter. YES.

This makes you feel alive. Trying to pep myselves, thinking about the weekend. Not much of a help because i have nothing exciting to do this weekend. Now i am thinking about my long term goal, "To become a millionaire". Well this feels great. Spring is almost there. Am feeling a lot better definitely. Well i am gonna grink my guts out this weekend. Now i have a lot to look for.
Now i need to stop this right here right now and work on becoming a millionaire.

Good luck to me.

Who Are U?

This is a tough question for me to answer.
Well i am happy some times, sad some times. Does this make me a cheerful person or a gloomy person.
I am straighforward with some people and not with some. Who am I - straighforward or not?
I am rude with some, very mild with some. What does this make me - hard hearted or mild mannered?
I am introverted and extroverted.

I think everyone i have interacted with has some degree of dual personality in each and every characteristic. So i fail to understand if some one says - I am straighforward, cheerful etc definitively.

But i guess people keep on judging themselves and others constantly and finally people try to be what they want to be or they give up.

Anyways i am so confused now and i am gonna stop this shit right here.

I pity the people who are gonna read this one.

Love.

I have always wondered about this word which dominates this world. Is this overrated or is it real?

My two cents -

People fall in love. But not with the person as much as with the feeling. If this statement is not true how many times have we seen a rich person falling madly in love with a poor person. Not suggesting that this doesn't happen. I haven't heard of it, so if it happens the percentage is negligible. Many people have a dream person to marry or fall in love with. If love is real how come people have a dream person in mind. Such people when they come across someone who resembles their dream person they fall in love.
Some people fall in love because they cant be alone. Some people fall in love because the society forces to marry.
There are a lot of reasons for people to fall in love. But the bottomline is everyone wants to be happy. So people really are in love with "happiness". People accept "happiness" in any form. No prejudices in happiness though.
So my conclusion is people truly "LOVE" happiness.

What say people.

Beautiful Mind

Just Watched the movie 'The Beautiful Mind'. (I know its kind of late). But anyways I liked the John Nash's conviction that he will be able to cure the disease w/o any drugs. I can relate to him because i was diagnosed with hypertension when i was 21. The doctors had prescribed me blood pressure drugs. I was adamant in not taking the medicines because i was damn sure i didn't have the condition. It happened that once when i went to the doctor i was nervous because of other reasons and at that point of time the doctor had diagnosed me with high blood pressure. So this kind of got into my mind and this became a cycle i.e i started getting nervous before any doctor's visit. Then i researched and found out that there is a condition called white coat hypertension and it is a pretty prevalent condition. So i bought a blood pressure monitor mysleves and then i started taking my own bp readings which showed that the readings were normal when taken under non-clinical conditions. But still no doctor has confirmed to me that i dont have this condition. Its just that i refuse to accept. I am not sure if this is adamant or being strong or just denial.

By this post i am not indicating that I am a genius as John Nash nor that I am as strong as him. Just thought that I had a parallel with him. Thats it.

Am still waiting for the first comment for my blog. Lets c how long do i have to wait for that one.

Good and Bad

Well today is going to be a memorable day i hope. Why? Because i started blogging. (Atleast memorable for me). Anyways i wanted to started a different life today, a life where everything is the truth, and u dont have to be scared for being yourself. I have always wondered if there is anyone on this earth who acts w/o the fear of judged. People act good, do good things because they want to be known as a good person not because they want to do good things. Atleast in this aspect i respect a bad person becuase he acts to his own will and is true to himself. Well i think i am going to stop here and not scare my potential subscribers.

Be Bad to me.